Dolce Far Niente

Italian, literally, “Sweet doing nothing, sweet idleness”

In a world packed with deadlines, and schedules from the time you get up until you get to bed, this philosophy pushes us to embrace taking time away from the pressure of stress, goals and to-do lists on tight schedules. In The Raggeds for three weeks, we’ve fully realized such tranquility. Dolce Far Niente.

We can’t recall where exactly, but somewhere, along the rugged and beautiful coast of Nova Scotia last summer we met a woman with an attractive accent, not any Nova Scotia accent, but a German or perhaps Swiss variant. She generously gifted to us a saying, that Kelly has transcribed onto our whiteboard on the cabin wall…

It is urgent that I do nothing!

Walking along a quiet beach, hundreds of miles from stress.

In my mind’s ear, I can clearly hear her accented voice speaking that saying. I do my best to stamp it down, but my stodgy workaholic psyche bubbles up immediately to a bristle upon hearing these words! Conscious of this reaction for many years now, I reflect upon my path towards this stressless sobriety. By reading that saying now almost daily, it’s slowly sinking in and desensitizing my reactions, letting me relax a bit more. A sort of cognitive behavioral modification perhaps?


It’s been a long time coming. Contrarily, this was my thinking:

I wish that I didn’t need to sleep. Just think of how much more I could accomplish in less time!

Yup, that’s one of my quotes from almost forty years ago!  Quite a contrast isn’t it? I know that life too well, and that work/productivity ethos was literally killing me.

Back to present with a recent anecdote, and how we still interact with go-go society:

Several weeks ago, a good friend agreed to join as crew on a long passage later this year. However, a conflicting opportunity came up to lead a group of weary sailors to one of our favorite cruising areas. His frustration at my simply considering altering plans now was palpable. (explicit language omitted). My initial response, among a series of brief texts:

All being considered, not a day passes without being open to refinement or betterment.

Another common saying: Plans are made in sand below the high tide mark.

What I failed to realize in the moment is that tension: immersion in that alternate life governed by strict planning the hour and filling every minute. Retrospectively, I clearly see the difference in the rearview mirror what that go, go, go attitude had made of me. A life so critically dependent on tight schedules and deadlines. Work, kids, payments, parents, etc. Like dominoes stacked in front of themselves, a fragile world on the edge. I know that my heath was paying a price, and I’m sure it’s not healthy for others. And for what final gain?

Admittedly, I must resist being drawn in again by satisfying my urge for productivity by taking on more boat projects. Fortunately, we did work very hard for what we have, and planned well for financial independence, and so no excuses for not achieving dolce far niente.

Our age is in the crossroads, where we have good friends on both sides of that stranglehold iron cage of stress. We embrace our new society of like-minded easy-going cruisers with those of our past legacy. Yes, we’ve fallen in amongst many of that other world!

Some remain tethered, complaining, refusing to break free, presenting all manner of excuses. Bah, you think it was easy for moi? We started planning ten years ago. Ironically it does take time, discipline and planning, but with each step further the liabilities diminish, anxiety slowly subsides and you eventually end up here.

A different balance: Even in paradise, we still need to maintain and fix on our little floating world, accepting and embracing technical challenges so as to keep our lives less stressful.

But we do worry about things, as we have concerns, old and new, short and long term. Keeping us and the boat safe and healthy, and watching the weather are foremost. Is the family healthy? We frequently call friends and family back home. We look at today and next week, and beyond, just like you. Will we safely arrive to where we want to go, when we want to get there? (Notice how I said “want”). Schedule is on a larger scale, with excess time to smell the roses, or read the classics, or figure out how to navigate by the stars, or spear the elusive spiny lobster.

Gratuitous ChatGPT rendering of me finding lobster!

If making longer term or longer distance plans we have time to consider what should be done beforehand, both for the boat and ourselves. We often change course at the last minute because circumstances continually evolve, even if others don’t see it and or become frustrated by our fluidity. We’ve long ago accepted that we can’t be sure we’ll be at a particular place at any specific time!

Got to roll, dodge and parry with what we can’t always control. And sometimes it’s better to let go of the wheel, and let the road choose for us, instead of fighting it. A calendar that’s broken down only into monthly detail is liberating – a truly different life.

We wish it were that simple.

We appreciate how difficult it is for some folks to comprehend and achieve long-term dolce far niente. But we continue to nudge loved ones towards that direction.

Regardless of which world views and perception you have, let’s all try to make this a better and sustainable world together, and never to be ignorant of others having different perception and priorities. We’re one human race and can peacefully share our planet together.


4 thoughts on “Dolce Far Niente

  1. Code, Erin's avatar Code, Erin

    Keep sending those beautiful pictures! You certainly have a home with a view.
    The chat gpt picture made me laugh because that guy lobster fishing is under water with dry hair!
    Erin

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